How to have a successful talk about "Senior Living" with your aging loved ones
When it is time to start this important dialogue most families feel uneasy. We know, it is not an easy decision since many senior resists, often because they think they will lose their independence. But avoiding the conversation will make it harder when it is time to do something.
The best recommendation we hear from specialists is to be prepared before a difficult situation arises. Make the time and get prepared for the conversation with these seven tips that can avoid accusations, frustration, and anger. Dialogue is the key to success!
Tip 1: Research senior options before you talk:
Before bringing up the topic, learn about the different types of senior livings. We understand price is also a concern so don’t feel ashamed to explore more affordable options, for example, if your dad is a veteran, ask about veterans benefits or contact their care insurance.
Tip 2: Try to bring up the subject in a casual way
Have the conversation in a casual, comfortable spot, like at the kitchen table. Start by saying, “I know this is hard to talk about, but I want to be sure that I honor your wishes. In order for me to do that, I need to know exactly what they are. We don’t have to decide anything today, but let’s just start the discussion, so we can keep this in mind and be better prepared for the future.”
Tip 3: Make a commitment to involve the seniors in the decisions
Everyone wants to be able to choose where they live and the kind of care they receive. If they are healthy enough to do so, ask your parents to join you in touring senior living communities or going to visit friends and relatives who have already made the move.
Tip 4: Use positive, non-threatening words: SAY COMMUNITY INSTEAD OF FACILITY:
Refer to assisted living as a “community” rather than a facility. Talk about “condo-style living” rather than “rooms.” Highlight the activities, amenities and social opportunities rather than the doctors and assistance with activities of daily living.
The tone of voice you use can make a big difference, too. Make a conscious effort to speak in a calm, quiet and pleasant tone. This is a conversation, not a lecture, so be sure to be respectful. Listen to and validate their feelings. If they get angry, don’t respond with more anger.
Tip 5: Take their side by recognizing their needs and preferences
Keeping their concerns in mind during these discussions will help you answer their questions and respond to their objections. Discuss ways that you can potentially bring help into the home so they can remain living in their house longer. Emphasize that a move to assisted living does not mean they’ll no longer have control over their daily life. Most seniors actually find that, with the housekeeping, laundry, and meals are taken care of, they have much more free time for the things they actually enjoy doing.
Tip 6: Be mindful and research if they are ill
In the case of Parkinson’s disease, dementia or heart failure, learn about how it will progress and how it could impact their ability to stay at home or make a decision about moving.
Share what you’ve learned from their doctor or through your research, and discuss how the services offered by certain long-term care settings could help them in the near future.
Argo Senior Living at Haverhill understands how burdensome the decision is for individuals to give up their houses for many years. We understand how the culmination of the decision is dependent upon one’s personal state of health and degree of independence.
That is why the Argo Senior Living at Haverhill staff will help residents and their families through the transition. We personalize the resident’s care, now and in the future, respectfully fostering the resident’s independence and individuality.
All in all, Argo Senior Living at Haverhill will capture your heart, and isn’t that where the home is?
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